The connection that exists between a mother and her daughter is one of the strongest relationships in the world.
Erica Allen Peden is all too familiar with this concept, having experienced firsthand the breadth and depth of that connection after the unexpected passing of her mother one day.
Erica and her mother have a history of sharing a very close relationship. She had valued their relationship, loved her, cared for her, and been kind to her throughout their time together.
She had no idea that the words she would absentmindedly utter about her mother one day would turn out to be the ones she regretted the most in her whole life.
The date was April 23, 2017, and she was giggling with her spouse of over 5 months as they lay in bed together, joking about something that one of our animals had done. Nick, her husband, asked her as she turned over to get ready for the day, “Where are you going?” On a Sunday morning, just after 10 o’clock, Erica planned to go see her mother, who lived about seven minutes away with her father and brother. She had recently recovered from an operation on her abdomen and was now recuperating. Erica informed him that she would be visiting my mother shortly. She said to him: “I’m going to see mom. She wants to hang out with me like every day.”
She said, “This is the moment I am most ashamed of in my life. If it sounds bratty and immature, that’s because it is. I didn’t mean it.” She said that it was really out of character for her to say something like this. It was such a joy to spend time with her mother. Because of them, she chose to keep both her place of employment and her residence in the same city.
She recalled: ‘She wants to hang out with me like every day.’ That’s the last sentence I said before I got the phone call that not only changed my life but broke my heart. My phone started ringing and I pick up my little brother’s call only to hear him panicking and crying. ‘Mom’s had a seizure or something, I don’t know what to do.’
After the passing of her mother, Erica found herself in the position of having to take the initiative and act as a leader for the rest of her family during this difficult time.
The unexpected loss of her mother influenced her in a great number of ways, and as a result, she realized that she was maturing much more rapidly than she could have imagined.
Since her mom passed away, she has started attending a local church. Her grandmother and she eat together once a week. She was in charge of planning the graduation celebration for her younger sister and hosting the baby shower for her older sister. At the funeral of her grandfather, which took place at the same location nearly 365 days to the day after the funeral of her mother, who was his daughter, she was asked to speak. She still coddles her brother, and every time she does, he gives me that look that says, “Whaaat?” because he knows she is probably going to ask for something. She shared: “I call my dad at noon and 4 pm, my mom’s old lunch break and the time she left work.“
“It has been the longest 1.5 years of my life. I have had one dream about her. In that dream, she hugged me, and I could smell her lotion. This was about a year ago. In the dream, I finally had the chance to tell her, ‘I loved hanging out with you. I love you.’”
In light of what Erica herself has said, I believe it is quite evident that Erica was an exceptional daughter to her mother. Nevertheless, the things that she has said and the insights that she has gained are simply too significant to keep to myself. It is imperative that we never forget to treasure the ones we love because we can never be sure how much longer we will have them in our lives.