Daughter tells her dad with dementia that they are related in a beautiful way

Scott is the girl’s father, but he doesn’t think of himself as her father. It’s hard for him when she calls him dad, but he knows they’re related.

When someone you care about has dementia, it’s very upsetting for both the person with dementia and the people who care about them. When it happens to a parent, it can be especially hard for an adult child to watch their memories and the person they used to be fade away. One of these daughters, Bailey, shared a video on TikTok of a hard conversation she had with her dementia-stricken father. Scott, the girl’s father, doesn’t think of himself as her father, so it’s hard for him when she calls him dad. Still, he can tell that she is special to him in her own way, and it’s so sweet to see him say that.

In the video, which is called “Some days are easier than others.. I miss you dad, but I love you very much, Scott,”  Scott says that he doesn’t know why or how he cares about his daughter, but he does. He knows that she is important to him and that he knows her. In the video, she says,  “In my mind and in my heart, you’re my dad, and you will always be my dad.” He doesn’t like it when she calls him dad, so he takes her up on her offer to call him Scott instead. This makes him feel better. “I love you, too,” says her dad. “We’re family.” 

The user of TikTok has been talking about her father’s experience with dementia on the social media site. Scott seems to have Wernicke’s encephalopathy, which is caused by drinking too much, and Bailey and her sister take care of him the most. She said in a video that Scott often forgets about her. Bailey says that showing pictures of them together is sometimes good for her. In the most heartwarming part of the video, he looks at pictures of them together and, when he realizes that she is really his daughter, he asks her if he has hurt her feelings. She calmly replies, “No you haven’t hurt my feelings. I’m just trying to give you some clarity.”

Bailey and her sister Paige became Scott’s full-time caregivers in February, when she took him in after he was in an accident and moved in with her. She set up a GoFundMe page to raise money for her dad’s care costs.  “He was diagnosed with dementia along with a few other things that have made him permanently disabled. He will need 24/7 care, and since I am already a caregiver for my mom, he is coming to live with me.”  She told him that his apartment and everything in it had been destroyed, and because he didn’t have insurance, the bills would be very high.

“I love my dad, with his brain damage he will no longer be able to work. His short-term memory is dwindling and I want him to be comfortable for the rest of his life,” she ended by asking everyone to donate to the fundraiser and help it grow.

Bailey’s videos on TikTok about how she learned to be a caregiver help a lot of people. In turn, she often asks people on the platform for advice and has a strong online support system. The video of Bailey telling Scott that they’re related has been going around social media, and many people have praised the patience it takes to take care of a family member with dementia. Joshua Frazier makes a post on Reddit, “Man this is heartbreaking to watch. I’ve worked with patients with dementia or Alzheimer’s and it is very difficult work. I can’t imagine what the family is going through, but it’s clear to me that Scott is engulfed in love. What a beautiful video.” Another user commented, “What a wonderful person. That even not knowing who he is, his first thought is compassion. <3. Making sure that he’s not hurting her feelings, saying that she’s important to him.”